Chewy is ready to share his jokes

_Elsa_

‘‘I was quite surprised to find some coronavirus jokes, so get ready!” says Chewy. 

‘Why did the chicken cross the road? 

Because the chicken behind it didn’t know how to socially distance properly. 

Two grandmothers were bragging about their precious darlings. One of them says to the other, “Mine are so good at social distancing, they won’t even call me.” 

“Have you heard about the story about a man who purchased a world map?” asks Chewy. “The woman says ………” 

My husband purchased a world map and then gave me a dart and said, “Throw this and wherever it lands—that’s where I’m taking you when this pandemic ends.” Turns out, we’re spending two weeks behind the fridge. 

Ran out of toilet paper and started using lettuce leaves. Today was just the tip of the iceberg, tomorrow romaines to be seen.’ (Source)

On New Year’s Eve, Roger was in no shape to drive, so he sensibly left his van in the car park and walked home. As he was wobbling along, he was stopped by a policeman. “What are you doing out here at four o’clock in the morning?”» asked the police officer.

“I’m on my way to a lecture,” answered Roger.

“And who on earth, in their right mind, is going to give a lecture at this time on New Year’s Eve?” enquired the constable sarcastically.

“My wife,” slurred Roger grimly.

John, at a New Year’s party, turns to his friend, David, and asks for a cigarette.

“I thought you made a New Year’s resolution and that you don’t smoke,” said David.

“I’m in the process of quitting,» replies John with a grin. «I am in the middle of phase one.”

“Phase one?» asks David.

“Yeah,”  laughs John, “I’ve quit buying.”

My new year’s resolution was to finally lose 50 pounds.

It’s going alright! 3 weeks in and I’ve only got 55 left to lose.’ (Source)

“And that’s it for now,” says Chewy. “Who wants to go next?”

Let’s continue here - Yeti shares some fun facts 

Start at the beginning - Tiffi and Elsa co-author a virtual New Year’s Eve virtual party