Comments
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I won $3 million on the lottery this weekend so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity. Now I have $2,999,999.75.
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A little boy asked his father, βDaddy, how much does it cost to get married?β Father replied, βI donβt know son, Iβm still paying.β
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That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything and all you can think is βact natural, youβre innocentβ.
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I had my credit card stolen the other day but I didnβt bother to report it because the thief spends less than my wife.
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Nothing ruins a Friday more than an understanding that today is Tuesday.
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I canβt believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
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Q: Why didnβt the sun go to college? A: Because it already had a million degrees!
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Did you hear about the crook who stole a calendar? He got twelve months.
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Q. What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? A. βI have read and agree to the Terms & Conditions.β
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Q: What time is it when a bear sits on your bed? A: Time to get a new bed! π
