Best Of

First one is so true though, I actually learned English originally from games 😂 I sat with a English to Swedish dictionary in my lap as a 5 year old playing Final Fantasy on the Playstation 1.

Harold, the hen

Harold got real drunk at the Christmas party, and Uber’d home. He snuck in beside his wife.

He woke up early at the pearly gates and St. Peter said, “you died in your sleep.”

Harold was stunned. ”I died? That can't be right. I've got too much to live for. Please send me back.”

St. Peter said, “I'm sorry. There's only one way you can go back. And that is by being reincarnated as a chicken.”

Harold wasn't thrilled, but he begged St. Peter to send him to a farm that was near his house. The next thing he knew, he was covered in feathers, clucking and pecking at the ground.

A rooster stride past "'Ha! So you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day here?'" “Not bad,” replied Harold the hen. "'But I have this strange feeling inside, like I'm going to explode.” - “That's an egg,” explained the rooster. Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before.” - “Never,” said Harold. “Well, just relax and let it happen, said the rooster. “Its not a big deal.”

Harold did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg.

Harold was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg. All his joy was overwhelming.

As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head and heard his wife yell, “Harold, wake up! You 💩 the bed.”

😅