Story I wrote for my fb page -
So for the past two weeks, I have been, briefly, gloriously... One of the number one Candy Crush players in the world. Yes. Let that sink in. Peak life achievement unlocked.
There’s a $500k contest right now, which just so happens to be exactly what I need for a kidney transplant. Not $499k. Not “we can work out a payment plan.” No, half a million dollars, like I’m trying to buy a small yacht instead of, you know, a functioning organ.
And I was WINNING.
At 2 hours from the end I was over 12,000 points ahead of second place. TWELVE. THOUSAND. When they were only 10k behind me, it took them all day to catch up before. I was out here sacrificing my eyesight, giving myself migraines, basically speedrunning self destruction via candy themed warfare, all in the name of literally saving my life.
I’m thinking, “Wow. This is it. This is how I beat kidney failure. Not with medicine, not with science… but with aggressively matching cartoon gummies.”
Last night, with two hours left, I’m sitting pretty at over 81,000 points. Second place? Down at 69,000. I’m like, “Okay, Simone, respectfully… stay down.”
And then...I make one fatal mistake.
I fall asleep. At 5am. On dialysis. Because apparently my body insists on being human at the worst possible time.
After TWO WEEKS of being in first place. Two weeks of eye strain, delusion, hope, and me fully believing I was about to Candy Crush my way into a kidney transplant…
This player named Simone comes in during the last two hours and absolutely robs me like we’re in a heist movie.
So yeah. I will be a sore loser for just a moment:
Respectfully. But also not respectfully.
Anyway.
Back to reality, where I still need a transplant like I have for the past 14 years, and Candy Crush is apparently not recognized as a valid form of medical insurance.
Hopefully testing goes well next month so I can get on the transplant list, and maybe...just maybe.. Medicare and Medicaid decide to come through like the real MVPs Simone refused to be.
I seriously appreciate everyone who’s helped with the GoFundMe for the testing trip. It means more than I can even explain. We’ve still got a long road and a lot more money to go before an actual transplant…
But hey. If nothing else, I now know I can almost beat the entire world at Candy Crush while in kidney failure.
So that’s something.
