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Hi @ElenaVorona
Honestly I don't quite understand what you mean with what you have written and I might not be able to fully understand even if you explain it to me for I am not in your shoes. I have no idea what you're going through. I don't know if we're even talking about the same thing.
What I meant was not to keep holding on to the bad things that has happened in our lives to the point of consuming us because we are not in any position to change anything for it's out of our control. For me it's my way of survival. I have learned this at an early age. None of us are exempt from experiencing bad things. Maybe in different degrees but still painful to all.
You're the friend of @Racoon7 that she's concern about. I'm praying for you and will continue to do so. π
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I do not know how to explain to you. I communicate using Google Translator.
Imagine that an air bomb fell near your house and now you no longer have windows. Instead of windows you now have holes.
Or, for example, the rocket flew into a neighboring house (5 or 9 floors). And now this house is no more. And there are no people who were in this house.
All this is out of my control. I can't influence this.
But I canβt forget about it either. These are things/events that happened. I hold it in my memory, not because I want to. It's simply impossible to forget.
You said that bad things should not be held in memory to the point that they consume us. What should I do if these events happen in my life every day? These events occur several times a day. How can I detach myself from this?
Kharkiv, Ukraine.
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I am not good with words. I thank you both. Your words are strong, and I sense them with magnitude.
I have recently suffered from PTSD, I thought how lucky I was. This is nothing to dear Elena and what she sees day in day out. People have forgotten about Ukraine π₯ My recent experience just reminding me life could be over in an instance.
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Aww @ElenaVorona my heart is with you! β€οΈ I'm crying right now. The tears just kept flowing. I can't imagine the pain and fear you and everyone else around you are going through.
I only had a snippet of idea when I travelled with my Mom in Israel and at that time there was a bombing where we were staying. Six has died. It was terrifying.
The thing is with you it's not the past but ongoing. Might not be the same but similar to someone who is suffering from debilitating illness. The pain is also ongoing.
Forgetting is not the same as dwelling. We don't forget what happened to us. It's impossible to forget unless we suffer from amnesia. Dwelling is holding on to it.
You asked how can you detach yourself from this. Since I'm not in your shoes, you're the only one who can help yourself. Try to find a way to remove yourself from what's going on in there. I'm not talking about physically but psychologically. We have this survival instinct within us that help us cope and deal with the trials and difficulties we're faced with.
In my case, it's my faith. It's the center of my life. I believe in God who loves us, His children. I pray constantly.
I hope and pray that the war in your country will end soon and no more casualties. I also hope and pray that you and your love ones will be kept safe from harm.
I don't know how to comfort you. Deep down my heart is aching for you. Please take care of yourself.
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Hi @ElenaVorona
I'm not sure if I have written all that I wanted to say to you. Part of the contents of my post kept on disappearing. I repeated numerous times. It's really testing my patience. π Different parts of what I have written have disappeared. So please pardon if you read any inconsistencies or anything that don't make sense.
Anyway, please hang in there and be safe. π