Heard any good funny jokes lately?

Elsa

I don't know about you, but sometimes I just have to take a break from those difficult levels.  Laughter is the best medicine so I searched high and I searched low and found some funny jokes.  Hope that you enjoy them as much as I did.  Please share any jokes that you might have.  Let's chuckle together!

Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.

My boss told me to have a good day.. so I went home.

A man walks into a bar and says, "Give me a beer before the problems start!"  He drinks the beer and then orders another saying, "Give me a beer before the problems start!"  The bartender looks confused. This goes on for a while, and after the fifth beer the bartender is totally confused and asks the man "When are you going to pay for these beers?"  The man answers, "Now the problems start!"

My wife told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.

Where do you find a cow with no legs? Right where you left it.

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."  The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to the man next to her: "The driver just insulted me."  The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."

 

My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60.  Now he's 97 years old and we have no idea where the hell he is.

 

The teacher said to his class one day, "Please stand up, anyone who thinks they're stupid."   Nobody stood up so the teacher said, "I'm sure there are some stupid students in this class!" At this point Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Oh Johnny! So you think you're stupid then?" Little Johnny replied, "No, I just felt bad that you were standing up on your own."

Elsa

Tagging some Candy Crush Friends Saga players.

@QueenMia, @rpd, @Mimiou, @nicely19, @lenskos, @Mimiou, @Patrick_Chong, @JeannieWally, @LORDLANGERZ, @nicely19, @MightyWolf15, @Pummy Raj, @TMcCauley, @lenskos, @Carol61, @Floyd, @Aitch, @QueenCharlene, @Pandablue, @AlejHerrBar2k3, @simy, @barbieanne72, @Ali_Azmir, @Christina2018, @Camolawyer, @Alansmart, @renatoan, @MsCeeDee, @sybuck, @Veeresh, @Graeme_London, @sam_123, @Crazy57, @Juan_Candy, @rabbit777, @Dinha123, @ladyadz, @MJKITTY, @Unperfection, @vmcpherson7090, @SweetBee, @Joseph45, @firebombmarkus, @vmcpherson7090, @Eiliesha_Jarman, @Pauline, @Dimitra_av, @stephenherringii,@vanessa30, @TaniaSloan, @Babygurl81, @LeeUp,@SeraphicStar

firebombmarkus

@Elsa Here comes the teacher in me 😁 Jokes in English for the ESL Clasroom : 

A family of mice were surprised by a big cat. Father Mouse jumped and and said, "Bow-wow!" The cat ran away. "What was that, Father?" asked Baby Mouse. "Well, son, that's why it's important to learn a second language." 

Mother: "Did you enjoy your first day at school?" 
Girl: "First day? Do you mean I have to go back tomorrow? 

Teacher: "Nick, what is the past participle of the verb to ring?" 
Nick: "What do you think it is, Sir?" 
Teacher: "I don't think, I KNOW!" 
Nick: "I don't think I know either, Sir!" 

Elsa

Those are cute!  I just thought of something.  We will be seeing players getting more HeHe from other players.  I know that they were working on a Comedian badge but I don't know if it went into effect yet.