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The only time I have the option to accept the extra lives that friends send me is when I already have 5 lives. Wouldn't it make more sense for the extra lives that are sent to be offered for acceptance after I have lost the lives the game gives? This is very frustrating. Also, I have never seen this envelope I see others talking about.
If you're accepting all the lives you've received when the game opens then it's no surprise you've not seen the envelope. When you get the initial pop up when you open the game, don't accept them and just close the box down instead. When you do that you should see the Mail icon where you'll be able to claim them when you need them.