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The onion cropsies do stand-up comedy

_Elsa_
_Elsa_ Posts: 37,048
edited September 2020 in Candy Friends Stories

Rancid signals for the next act to come to center stage.  

“And here we have our onion cropsies who will be doing stand-up comedy,” says Rancid.  “You are going to love them! They are very comical.” 

‘A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So, his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family.’ 

‘A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull. The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram." She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word "comfortable." Skeptical, the operator asks, "How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?" The redhead replies, "She's a blonde so she reads slow: 'Come for ta bull.'

‘A boy asks his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?" "That's disgusting. Don't talk about things like that over dinner," the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me?" "Oh, nothing," the boy says. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone.’ 

‘A boy is selling fish on a corner. To get his customers' attention, he is yelling, "Dam fish for sale! Get your dam fish here!" A pastor hears this and asks, "Why are you calling them 'dam fish.'" The boy responds, "Because I caught these fish at the local dam." The pastor buys a couple fish, takes them home to his wife, and asks her to cook the dam fish. The wife responds surprised, "I didn't know it was acceptable for a preacher to speak that way." He explains to her why they are dam fish. Later at the dinner table, he asks his son to pass the dam fish. He responds, "That's the spirit, Dad! Now pass the f*cking potatoes!’ (Info here

Lots of laughter and hand clapping! The onion cropsies did very well. They really know how to keep the audience’s interest. They thank everyone and walk off the stage.

Let’s continue here - The strawberry cropsies do a hip hop dance

Start at the beginning – Today is the Farm Heroes Got Talent show! (Part 2) 

 Don’t forget to read the first part of this story - Farm Heroes Got Talent (Part 1)

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