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1. A lack of trick or treating “times.”
If you grew up in the 80’s, you may not recall trick or treating times.
Trick or treating began when mom and dad got home from work and it ended
when the candy ran out. I don’t know when this two hour window started,
but from what I remember trick or treating went on long enough for us
to hit our neighborhood, visit my grandma for a few pictures, and get
back home in time to hit up a few more houses. Poor Grandmas are getting
ripped off in this new arrangement.
2. What the heck is a Halloween superstore?
What? You say there is a whole store dedicated to nothing but Halloween
costumes? When did this happen? Who has that kind of time? Or money? I
think in the 80’s you either made your own or snagged one from G.L.
Perry or if you were lucky, Target. Now my kids want me to take them to
these pop up Halloween superstores, which remind of the kind of things
and people you see at the fireworks stand in July. Eeeek. ‘Nuff said.
3. The beloved pillowcase or plastic pumpkin.
When you trick or treated in the 80’s you had two choices of which to
collect your candy swag with: pillowcase or plastic pumpkin. Hmmm…tough
choice! The pumpkin was so festive, but after a certain age you opted
for the pillowcase because let’s face it, it held more and you kinda
felt more grown up.
4. The candy sort was an Olympic event.
In the 80’s we came home with our candy swag, poured every item out onto
the floor, and we started the tedious but necessary candy sort. See the
thing is you only got about 8-10 different kinds of candy, so sorting
was quite easy. Now, with candy made in the image of every Disney or
Pixar character imaginable, the job has suddenly become harder, and so
kids don’t want to bother. It’s too overwhelming. I don’t even know.
5. We lived for the look, not comfort.
We couldn’t breathe through the plastic Wonder Woman and He-Man masks we
wore, but who cared? Repping our favorite super heroes was worth
withholding oxygen from our brains. Sure our costumes were fire hazards
and made crinkling noises when we walked, but did it matter? Not when we
had candy to collect. Oh it’s 30 degrees out? No problem, tie that
plastic Transformer costume right over your snowsuit. Problem solved.
Let’s get this handled, people. There is too much candy at stake.
You can read more of them here.